As we continue to introduce the concept of PESSCE (peace) Wholeness, I want to share some foundational thoughts about various areas of focus for the PESSCE model. PESSCE reflects the five life streams: physical, emotional, spiritual, social, career and economic. PESSCE Unlimited offers a model for wholeness supported by lifestyle coaching and guidance for navigating your life streams more effectively. I want to spend a little time discussing the “social” life stream. As you begin to focus on your five life streams, it will be important to give consideration to your “why.” Why you do what you do, who you do it with, who you do it for and why you do what you do when you do what you do? What is your “why” for social media? I’ve heard the current justification some use, “I only use it for marketing.” Okay, that’s fine, but what about the other users? Could it be a way of “muting” your silence? I want to share thoughts to help you assess your “why” as it relates to social media and give you opportunity for consideration of regaining an important component of yourself, your silence. Yep, I want to help you “unmute” your silence!

Has your silence been muted? Odd question, right? Silence in most cases is a chosen behavior. People who are closest to you, the people who really “know” you, often know what your silence means or at minimum know how best to interact with you when you are silent. A rich dynamic that fits within the definition of paralanguage, is your body language. Your silence still speaks through observed body language. Face to face communication allows opportunity for your silence to speak. So, I again ask, has your silence been muted? Have you muted your silence with excess utilization of social media?

The Social Life Stream within the PESSCE model gives consideration to our daily social experiences. Our social life experiences begin the day we are born and are exposed to the human experience outside the womb. Who you are today is often shaped by the social interactions you have had over the course of your life time. When we think of the current state of the Social Life Stream, the focus for many has shifted to social media utilization and less on social experiences. Social experiences hinges on the richest form of communication which is face to face interaction. Social media has changed this key developmental dynamic inherent to humans in how we live our lives.

Because of this shift, we have created a disengaged communication forum that has muted silence for many. Silence is not a bad thing. Face to face communication helps to give silence a voice. Through body language or physical touch, we are able to communicate our silence. Social media has muted the beauty of silence. Social media allows many to hide their silence through each individual’s ability to become whomever they want others to believe them to be if they were not silent. This is one aspect of the façade that plagues social media.

I do understand that some would say that social media platforms give voice to those who feel they have no voice. This isn’t necessary all bad, however, as it relates to muted silence, replacement of silence with social media is a way of hiding a gift that is a part of our human nature. The other extreme related to silence, social media also gives an online megaphone to those who are never silent who maybe should be. Online forums, give them opportunity to spew out that which is unimportant, inaccurate, opinionated, and often times just rude or obnoxious. This too is a form of muting the silence. Because in times that should be silent moments in their own personal life and space, such individuals are loudly speaking on social media platforms. Enough already, be silent!

In order to walk in your PESSCE Wholeness, it will be important to look at your social life stream to identify areas of challenge and opportunity. Your muted silence is just one area of consideration related to social. Unmuting your silence by replacing social media time with face to face time with others, personal reflection time, prayer or meditation time can be transformative for you and those around you. Embrace the silence over dinner with your family versus having your phone out scrolling through social media. It might lead to opportunity for engaging dialogue. I challenge you to reengage with your face-to-face circle of family and friends by letting them hear your silence. It’s okay to be silent and not be on social media. You should also consider spending time in your own quiet space of silence. Enjoy the silence. Will your silence be heard? Yes, by you, those in your circle, and your Higher Power! I dare you, try being silent. Unmute your silence and reclaim your social life experiences with yourself, God and those in your social circles, and less through social media absorption!

When effort is put forth to make positive change in life, there are some days that are just really tough. The PESSCE Wholeness model gives opportunity for assessment and planning to address challenges physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially, in your career and finances. IT IS HARD WORK!! But the work has to be done and it has to be done by YOU!! Today during a workout session with my trainer, after sharing some things I’m struggling with, she asked, “what else can I do to help you?” My response was simple, “nothing.” The work has to be done by ME.

The six PESSCE life-stream areas (physical, emotional, spiritual, social, career, economic) are all difficult independently but it is even more challenging when you begin to identify the overlap across the six. Don’t let it overwhelm you. At the end of each difficult day as you do the work, take a deep breath, and lay your head to rest, knowing that a new day, which will be a better day, is coming.

My writing partner and I have written “PESSCE Music” which is all about encouragement and motivation to help you work the PESSCE Wholeness model. One song that we wrote is called “Brand New Day.” Oh, how this song has encouraged me today. Let the lyrics encourage you today as well, if you find yourself trying and nothing is changing, or the challenge seems insurmountable. A part of song says, tomorrow will be a new day and I trust the day will bring to me, joy and peace; that’s all I need!! Tomorrow will be a better day!!

It doesn’t matter the struggle or area of challenge, lay your head to rest after your difficult day and trust that you find your way to your new day. Tomorrow will be a better day!!! Tomorrow you won’t eat those cookies and you will work out; you will not let your emotions cause you to say or do the wrong thing; You will pray and read the Word; you will limit yourself to only positive social interactions; you will be focused at work to get everything done; you will not be wasteful with your money!!

For me, today is my tomorrow, because yesterday I missed the mark, but today has been a better day!! Be encouraged!!

Angela

PESSCE Unlimited

It was a pleasure joining a recent podcast on leadership! Take a listen as Dr. John Dicicco author of “Leadership is a Choice” and Jordan Rich, host of The Jordan Rich Show on WBZ-AM 1030 in Boston, Massachusetts discuss leadership with me, Angela M. Callahan. This 5th episode of the Choice to Lead Podcast topics include how to be a successful “change agent” in an organization that is in need of change, why respect is one of the  top keys to leadership and wise advice for college students and millennials as they make their way in today’s world. Click the link below to hear the Podcast. Be sure to open the Show Notes and leave your comments!!

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God’s Plan; My Hustle!

One year ago, I walked away from a job that most people would consider “a very good job” making a lot of money at a pretty decent level in a company. I took a risk. Over the years, I have always done consulting and training but not full time in nearly 20 years. The risk was a good one because for me, I was being lead by God to do so. God gave me the concept of PESSCE(peace) to focus on physical, emotional, spiritual, social, career and economic wholeness for women. But when I established my business, PESSCE Unlimited, LLC, it was established with two work streams: Lifestyle Coaching for Women (the God given true work of PESSCE) and Transformational HR and Leadership Consulting (the work I am trained to do and had do to pay the bills). PESSCE has been my focus full time for 1 year and what a year it has been! PESSCE is what God has called me to do, so to leave my full time focus on PESSCE to accept a full-time position again would only happen if the right “dream job” presented. And thanks to Patricia Duarte of Decisions Insight, Inc., my dream job came to be!  Please indulge me as I share a glimpse into my journey and current state.

I have had many conversations with someone in my life who couldn’t understand my perspective on not settling for a “job” just because other “folks” think it’s a “good job.” Being with a big well known company making a lot of money and big perks for me does not equate to a good job. I needed more than that. I found myself drowning in a company and being devalued. I knew all that I brought to the table however based on my role in my last organization, only a small percentage of my true value-add was leveraged. I wanted to be in a higher educational institution where I could have impact and influence. I have had many good jobs over the course of my career, but I have also been told more times that I care to count, “we have decided to go with another candidate.” How much experience, education and just common sense do you need to have to finally be THE ONE? Well, I have been planning, praying, working and waiting for this ONE. UMassD is where I’m suppose to be! I am very excited about this next phase of my life.This is all part of the plan that God has for my life, Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” This has been the foundational scripture for my life!

Let me sum up my life journey to my own current place of PESSCE and the transition to my current “dream job” with a little story. A few months ago I was doing ANY and EVERYTHING that I had to do to support myself and the work of PESSCE Unlimited. Staying mostly in my swim lane delivering training programs around the country. However, beyond that, I was doing whatever work I could do. Yep, I was hustling as they say! One day a very close person in my life (who shall remain nameless) said to me in a very demeaning and condescending way, “You like hustling like this?!” My silent response is on the front of a T-shirt I love to wear now, “GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO HUSTLE!!” The insensitive thoughts and comments from this person were motivators to work even harder to achieve my goals and to finally get that person and their NEGATIVITY out of my life! Let me encourage someone today, keep hustling, GOD IS GOING TO BLESS YOUR EFFORT!” Don’t let anyone discourage you from pushing forward to get to that which you know is ordained for you!

I am very excited to be the new Senior Associate Vice Chancellor for Talent and Diversity at the University of MA Dartmouth. I want to send a big shout out of THANK YOU for the many expressions of love, support and congrats!! It is overwhelming in the most positive way. I have worked very hard to get my education and build my career, even in the face of extrinsic and even intrinsic challenges. In the words of my sister Pamela Dotson and so many others, “you may see my glory but you don’t know my story!” Indeed I am blessed.

Finally, to answer the question I have had over and over in the last 2 weeks, what about PESSCE? Well to my ladies, I am still working PESSCE!! Now I can truly focus on the Lifestyle Coaching, Music, and Events for Women and not all the HR and Leadership Consulting I have been doing. UMASS Dartmouth will get all of that goodness! So be on the lookout for some exciting things coming from PESSCE Unlimited that will help to transform your life. We want to help you find your PESSCE!!

Angela M. Callahan, MS

Find your swim lane and know your stroke

I love to swim. I also like to use analogies from swimming in many of the topics that I discuss. Recently someone expressed to me concern with not doing exactly what she thought she would be doing at this point in her life and career. She felt she has always desired to be one thing, but she always finds herself in a different place in her career path but not in a bad way. My reply to her comments/questions reflected the importance of knowing her passion, strengths and key areas of focus. I encouraged her to be comfortable with where she was as long as she was happy and making a difference in the life of others.

So often we find ourselves applying for jobs, interviewing then walk away from the interview saying, “Yes!! I knocked that one out of the park! I will definitely get that job.” Then we don’t get it. We just knew it would be a “good fit” and we just knew we would be hired. Unfortunately, more often than not, it just doesn’t happen. And you are told, “Well, we just don’t think you are a good fit for this job.” Basically, you just don’t quite fit the mold of what they are looking for! If you really stop to think about it, they may very well be correct in their assessment. But not for the reason you may think. There may be something much bigger and better or just more impactful that you really are “suppose” to be doing instead.

Let me give you an example. I have discovered after several failed efforts to obtain a full faculty appointment with different institutions of higher learning, that being a professor is just not what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Same with other higher level leadership roles that fell through. Not everyone is cut out to be a university professor, Senior VP or certain other roles. Being a full time professor may not work but maybe serving as an adjunct faculty teaching evening classes to adults would be a better fit. Or a professional development workshop leader, life coaching, mentor or basically teaching in other formats and settings may be a better fit. Without any hesitancy or discomfort, I can definitely say that is me. I know my strengths and what I am called to do.

A few months ago, I went through a very lengthy process for a faculty appointment at a business college with undergraduate and graduate level degrees. It seemed like a done deal once I completed the full interview process. Much to my surprise, I was ultimately told they were moving forward with another candidate. Same song different verse for me. I have resolved that my incomplete doctoral degree, style and approach to teaching, is not full-time professorship material. I’m more of an inspirational public speaker, you know, a motivator. LOL. That’s what I am and that is what I’m good at. One of my recent workshop participants gave me a “compliment” for holding his attention and actually said congratulations for doing so. It was really funny! He later wrote the following on workshop evaluation, “Angela is one of the best trainers I have ever had! It is very hard to maintain my interest in a subject for more than a few minutes at a time; she was able to keep me on track all day long. She was awesome!!” I appreciate all feedback from participants.

Basically, I know my swim lane and I know my stroke. I love the breast stroke when I swim. I’m not as fast or precise as others in the water, but I swim diligently from one end to the other. Same with my career. I’m going to do what I do in my lane and let others do what they do. You should do the same as well. Focus on your strengths and find that which is a perfect fit for you.

Angela M. Callahan

PESSCE Unlimited, LLC

My new motivation – She is my new Inspiration!

 

I met a young lady who I now call my new inspiration. She is a young lady in her earlier 20s who came to the United States from Uganda less than a year ago. She came to the States alone, met with the appropriate organizations to help secure housing and to find employment. In addition to the job acquired through a Job Placement Organization, she also found a second job on her own. So, she works two jobs and gets around town leveraging the local Ride Share services.

 

Weekly, she sends most of her earnings back home to support her younger brother and sister through school. She gets minimal sleep so that she can maximize her time for working her two jobs. She goes grocery shopping, does laundry, etc., between jobs. She doesn’t have relatives or family friends in the area, only the few folks she has met through her jobs. Minimal income from maximum effort with all her focus on helping others; all without complaint and with a smile bright as the sun! Wow!!

 

When she shared her story with me, I told her, “Do you know you are awesome! You are a rock star!!” And I went on and on about how great she is. She humbly said, “No, I don’t think so.” She said she can’t see that about herself. She felt that she should be doing even more than she is doing currently. This young lady surely encouraged my soul this week!! I have no complaints, even on my toughest day, I won’t complain!! It’s time to inspire!

Angela Callahan

PESSCE Unlimited, LLC

Love Yourself First

 

As you celebrate the one you love today, be sure to also celebrate YOU! February 14th is the date known worldwide as the day of “love”, and for me there is an important question that comes to mind for your consideration. Do you LOVE YOURSELF? I mean really? The journey to PESSCE Wholeness requires self-love, a true love for yourself. Loving yourself may require you to finally put yourself first. Now, to be clear, I am not saying that you stop or change your lifelong commitment to helping and being considerate of others first. What I am saying is that often times the focus on others is so great that you have little to no focus on yourself. You are lost in the process of uplifting others.

 

Self-love will show up physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially, in your career and economically (PESSCE). Love yourself today across your 6 life-streams in some way. Often times self-love is viewed negatively; vanity and selfish. If that is the place you live in daily, then I am not talking to you. I am talking to those of you who are selfless, giving and considerate of others day in and day out. Those of you who would give the shirt off your back if you had to. Those of you who make sure everybody gets a plate of food before you sit down to take one bite. Those of you who keep taking the inconsiderate behavior of others and responding with grace and love. You know who you are! Go love some YOU today! You deserve it! Walk in your PESSCE Wholeness today!!!

 

Happy Valentine’s Day to all!

HEAR THE VOICE OF MY HEART

 

Thank you for helping me have a voice.” These simple words make the foundational concepts of the PESSCE Wholeness Model for Women worth it. I recently spent time supporting a client through a challenging situation with the family of her spouse. For a significant number of years, she has supported her spouse through personal battles with substance abuse and other challenges. She had reached her end point and was ready to give up. She could not keep carrying this burden alone and wanted to engage friends and the in-laws in planning an intervention.

For years, she has had little to no positive interaction with her in-laws in getting her spouse the needed support to gain sobriety and freedom. She has basically been none existent to the family and received much of the backlash for the current state of their loved one. There had never been any acknowledgement of her in any way except negativity.

The PESSCE Lifestyle Coaching sessions started with an opportunity for her to get all of her frustration out to ensure a solid focus on healing and solution setting. This Deep Dive customized coaching approach has allowed the healing and future-state planning to take place. There is a long road ahead for this family, but the vital part of this intervention is giving a woman a voice that comes out of a heart of strength and love. Hearing her heart, validating her strengths, and supporting her desire for healing has given her a voice.

Finding your voice in your own personal situation is a key to your wholeness. PESSCE Unlimited’s Lifestyle Coaching approach helps individuals to find their voice. We listen to your heart and confirm your self-controlled lifestyle decisions! We help you find your way to PESSCE Wholeness!

Angela M. Callahan, PESSCE Unlimited

 

Visit the PESSCE Online Store to purchase your Lifestyle Coaching Services at https://pessce.com/product/pessce-lifestyle-wholeness-personal-coaching/

SELF-CONTROLLED LIFE CHANGE DECISIONS

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Often the decisions to make big life changes come from a place of brokenness, mixed emotions or the perspective of other people. The emotional weight of a situation can cause you to make a premature decision that does not result in the intended outcomes. Having “PESSCE Wholeness” will reflect self-controlled decisions that result in the desired positive outcomes. Your decision is only yours to make and should be from a place of wholeness, not brokenness or the perspective of others. 

 

My PESSCE Wholeness is at the core of every area of my life today. I have done and will continue to do the hard work! From my place of PESSCE Wholeness, I recently made several big decisions in my life with even more coming soon. Some people may say, the decisions I have made should have been made years ago. For me, my decisions were exactly when they were supposed to be made. As part of my personal journey to PESSCE Wholeness, decision making from a self-controlled place was vital. I was broken physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially, and economically, until I started to address my whole life concerns in all six life-streams. I am still doing the work, but the hardest part of the work has been done!! There is all goodness ahead of me now!

 

Each person’s timing will be different and your level of tolerance will also be different. You will know when it’s time to address your physical challenges because you will be tired of feeling or looking a certain way. You will know when you must address your emotional issues because you will be sick and tired of being sick and tired. You will know when you have reached your place of brokenness that requires true Spiritual intervention that will take you to your decision place in the right way. The social aspects of your life, including relationships will be viewed differently. You will focus and work hard to address your financial concerns even if it takes years to sort it all out. All of this will come together demonstrating your PESSCE Wholeness. Not perfection or completion, but wholeness. 

 

The social and emotional perspective of others will not impact your self-controlled decisions when you walk in PESSCE. Make your decision, launch the change, walk in your own PESSCE! Other people in your life may see “it” before you see “it”, or they may never see the need for your life change, either way it’s okay. The decision to make the change should be fully your own and in your own timing. You have to make your own decision because you are the only person who has to live your life daily. The decisions that you make must come from you and not from what other people say, think or feel. Go through the process and move forward to your place of PESSCE on your own terms and in your own time. If you haven’t started, maybe it’s time for you to start you’re journey to PESSCE Wholeness!

 

Remember Your Worth; Stop Trying to Prove It!! 

“If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value.” ~Unknown

You can hold your own in any conversation. You stand out in a crowded room, shining bright like a diamond. You have educated yourself and built a solid career. You have a faith that can move mountains. Even with your flaws (yes, we all have those too!!), who you are demonstrates strength, value and exceptional confidence! And you show consistent support of those around you. You are blessed and are a blessing to others.

 

With all these great qualities that clearly reflect the value-add that you bring to any relationship, why are you walking around feeling defeated and worthless? Why are you trying to prove your worth to someone else? For some reason, you have felt a need to prove your worth to the very ones who will never see it. Stop it!! Just stop it!! Attempting to prove your worth to someone who doesn’t see your value and doesn’t even know their own worth is worthless! The longer you put forth effort to prove your worth the more you lose your value.

 

The effort to prove your worth could be in a marital or dating relationship, among family members, friends, leaders and work colleagues, or even your church family members. Often times those close challenging relationships requiring you to always prove your worth, are based on the other person’s issues that they project on you. The transference of their own lack of self-worth. You have to know that IT IS NOT YOU and that you are worth your weight in gold!! It means you are in a toxic situation that may require you to make major change.  If that means it’s time to walk away, then walk away. It’s time to change your environment and surround yourself with people where your value is seen as golden. You don’t have to prove anything! Just be true to who you are and remember who you are daily.

      

Remember your worth and walk in your greatness, being all that you were designed to be!

Walk in your PESSCE Wholeness!