Find your swim lane and know your stroke

I love to swim. I also like to use analogies from swimming in many of the topics that I discuss. Recently someone expressed to me concern with not doing exactly what she thought she would be doing at this point in her life and career. She felt she has always desired to be one thing, but she always finds herself in a different place in her career path but not in a bad way. My reply to her comments/questions reflected the importance of knowing her passion, strengths and key areas of focus. I encouraged her to be comfortable with where she was as long as she was happy and making a difference in the life of others.

So often we find ourselves applying for jobs, interviewing then walk away from the interview saying, “Yes!! I knocked that one out of the park! I will definitely get that job.” Then we don’t get it. We just knew it would be a “good fit” and we just knew we would be hired. Unfortunately, more often than not, it just doesn’t happen. And you are told, “Well, we just don’t think you are a good fit for this job.” Basically, you just don’t quite fit the mold of what they are looking for! If you really stop to think about it, they may very well be correct in their assessment. But not for the reason you may think. There may be something much bigger and better or just more impactful that you really are “suppose” to be doing instead.

Let me give you an example. I have discovered after several failed efforts to obtain a full faculty appointment with different institutions of higher learning, that being a professor is just not what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Same with other higher level leadership roles that fell through. Not everyone is cut out to be a university professor, Senior VP or certain other roles. Being a full time professor may not work but maybe serving as an adjunct faculty teaching evening classes to adults would be a better fit. Or a professional development workshop leader, life coaching, mentor or basically teaching in other formats and settings may be a better fit. Without any hesitancy or discomfort, I can definitely say that is me. I know my strengths and what I am called to do.

A few months ago, I went through a very lengthy process for a faculty appointment at a business college with undergraduate and graduate level degrees. It seemed like a done deal once I completed the full interview process. Much to my surprise, I was ultimately told they were moving forward with another candidate. Same song different verse for me. I have resolved that my incomplete doctoral degree, style and approach to teaching, is not full-time professorship material. I’m more of an inspirational public speaker, you know, a motivator. LOL. That’s what I am and that is what I’m good at. One of my recent workshop participants gave me a “compliment” for holding his attention and actually said congratulations for doing so. It was really funny! He later wrote the following on workshop evaluation, “Angela is one of the best trainers I have ever had! It is very hard to maintain my interest in a subject for more than a few minutes at a time; she was able to keep me on track all day long. She was awesome!!” I appreciate all feedback from participants.

Basically, I know my swim lane and I know my stroke. I love the breast stroke when I swim. I’m not as fast or precise as others in the water, but I swim diligently from one end to the other. Same with my career. I’m going to do what I do in my lane and let others do what they do. You should do the same as well. Focus on your strengths and find that which is a perfect fit for you.

Angela M. Callahan

PESSCE Unlimited, LLC

Love Yourself First

 

As you celebrate the one you love today, be sure to also celebrate YOU! February 14th is the date known worldwide as the day of “love”, and for me there is an important question that comes to mind for your consideration. Do you LOVE YOURSELF? I mean really? The journey to PESSCE Wholeness requires self-love, a true love for yourself. Loving yourself may require you to finally put yourself first. Now, to be clear, I am not saying that you stop or change your lifelong commitment to helping and being considerate of others first. What I am saying is that often times the focus on others is so great that you have little to no focus on yourself. You are lost in the process of uplifting others.

 

Self-love will show up physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially, in your career and economically (PESSCE). Love yourself today across your 6 life-streams in some way. Often times self-love is viewed negatively; vanity and selfish. If that is the place you live in daily, then I am not talking to you. I am talking to those of you who are selfless, giving and considerate of others day in and day out. Those of you who would give the shirt off your back if you had to. Those of you who make sure everybody gets a plate of food before you sit down to take one bite. Those of you who keep taking the inconsiderate behavior of others and responding with grace and love. You know who you are! Go love some YOU today! You deserve it! Walk in your PESSCE Wholeness today!!!

 

Happy Valentine’s Day to all!

HEAR THE VOICE OF MY HEART

 

Thank you for helping me have a voice.” These simple words make the foundational concepts of the PESSCE Wholeness Model for Women worth it. I recently spent time supporting a client through a challenging situation with the family of her spouse. For a significant number of years, she has supported her spouse through personal battles with substance abuse and other challenges. She had reached her end point and was ready to give up. She could not keep carrying this burden alone and wanted to engage friends and the in-laws in planning an intervention.

For years, she has had little to no positive interaction with her in-laws in getting her spouse the needed support to gain sobriety and freedom. She has basically been none existent to the family and received much of the backlash for the current state of their loved one. There had never been any acknowledgement of her in any way except negativity.

The PESSCE Lifestyle Coaching sessions started with an opportunity for her to get all of her frustration out to ensure a solid focus on healing and solution setting. This Deep Dive customized coaching approach has allowed the healing and future-state planning to take place. There is a long road ahead for this family, but the vital part of this intervention is giving a woman a voice that comes out of a heart of strength and love. Hearing her heart, validating her strengths, and supporting her desire for healing has given her a voice.

Finding your voice in your own personal situation is a key to your wholeness. PESSCE Unlimited’s Lifestyle Coaching approach helps individuals to find their voice. We listen to your heart and confirm your self-controlled lifestyle decisions! We help you find your way to PESSCE Wholeness!

Angela M. Callahan, PESSCE Unlimited

 

Visit the PESSCE Online Store to purchase your Lifestyle Coaching Services at https://pessce.com/product/pessce-lifestyle-wholeness-personal-coaching/

SELF-CONTROLLED LIFE CHANGE DECISIONS

Image Source: https://efr0702.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/life-change.jpg

Often the decisions to make big life changes come from a place of brokenness, mixed emotions or the perspective of other people. The emotional weight of a situation can cause you to make a premature decision that does not result in the intended outcomes. Having “PESSCE Wholeness” will reflect self-controlled decisions that result in the desired positive outcomes. Your decision is only yours to make and should be from a place of wholeness, not brokenness or the perspective of others. 

 

My PESSCE Wholeness is at the core of every area of my life today. I have done and will continue to do the hard work! From my place of PESSCE Wholeness, I recently made several big decisions in my life with even more coming soon. Some people may say, the decisions I have made should have been made years ago. For me, my decisions were exactly when they were supposed to be made. As part of my personal journey to PESSCE Wholeness, decision making from a self-controlled place was vital. I was broken physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially, and economically, until I started to address my whole life concerns in all six life-streams. I am still doing the work, but the hardest part of the work has been done!! There is all goodness ahead of me now!

 

Each person’s timing will be different and your level of tolerance will also be different. You will know when it’s time to address your physical challenges because you will be tired of feeling or looking a certain way. You will know when you must address your emotional issues because you will be sick and tired of being sick and tired. You will know when you have reached your place of brokenness that requires true Spiritual intervention that will take you to your decision place in the right way. The social aspects of your life, including relationships will be viewed differently. You will focus and work hard to address your financial concerns even if it takes years to sort it all out. All of this will come together demonstrating your PESSCE Wholeness. Not perfection or completion, but wholeness. 

 

The social and emotional perspective of others will not impact your self-controlled decisions when you walk in PESSCE. Make your decision, launch the change, walk in your own PESSCE! Other people in your life may see “it” before you see “it”, or they may never see the need for your life change, either way it’s okay. The decision to make the change should be fully your own and in your own timing. You have to make your own decision because you are the only person who has to live your life daily. The decisions that you make must come from you and not from what other people say, think or feel. Go through the process and move forward to your place of PESSCE on your own terms and in your own time. If you haven’t started, maybe it’s time for you to start you’re journey to PESSCE Wholeness!

 

Remember Your Worth; Stop Trying to Prove It!! 

“If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value.” ~Unknown

You can hold your own in any conversation. You stand out in a crowded room, shining bright like a diamond. You have educated yourself and built a solid career. You have a faith that can move mountains. Even with your flaws (yes, we all have those too!!), who you are demonstrates strength, value and exceptional confidence! And you show consistent support of those around you. You are blessed and are a blessing to others.

 

With all these great qualities that clearly reflect the value-add that you bring to any relationship, why are you walking around feeling defeated and worthless? Why are you trying to prove your worth to someone else? For some reason, you have felt a need to prove your worth to the very ones who will never see it. Stop it!! Just stop it!! Attempting to prove your worth to someone who doesn’t see your value and doesn’t even know their own worth is worthless! The longer you put forth effort to prove your worth the more you lose your value.

 

The effort to prove your worth could be in a marital or dating relationship, among family members, friends, leaders and work colleagues, or even your church family members. Often times those close challenging relationships requiring you to always prove your worth, are based on the other person’s issues that they project on you. The transference of their own lack of self-worth. You have to know that IT IS NOT YOU and that you are worth your weight in gold!! It means you are in a toxic situation that may require you to make major change.  If that means it’s time to walk away, then walk away. It’s time to change your environment and surround yourself with people where your value is seen as golden. You don’t have to prove anything! Just be true to who you are and remember who you are daily.

      

Remember your worth and walk in your greatness, being all that you were designed to be!

Walk in your PESSCE Wholeness!


 

Earlier this month we shared with you the overview of PESSCE (peace) Unlimited, LLC, and the concept of The PESSCE Wholeness Model™ which includes Lifestyle and Leadership wholeness for women. In addition, we reviewed the specific details of one aspect of the model, PESSCE Leadership Wholeness. Today, we will review PESSCE Lifestyle Wholeness.

As mentioned in a previous post, PESSCE is an acronym pronounced “peace.” The first letter of the six areas of focus for life-style and leadership wholeness is what makes up the word PESSCE. The six areas of focus for lifestyle wholeness are referenced as Life-Streams. Life-Streams are the 6 areas of life that are most common to all individuals. The PESSCE Lifestyle includes:

Physical

Emotional

Spiritual (true Peace)

Social

Career

Economic (personal finance)

Demonstration of wholeness by exercising self-control choices in these six Life-Streams will result in greater PESSCE in one’s life. Peace is something most people often seek in their lives, but may not fully achieve because of a lack of PESSCE across the life-streams. The PESSCE™ approach encourages women who lack wholeness across the six areas, to seek their inner spiritual strength in order to make self-controlled life choices that should result in positive lifestyle changes.

When there is strain in any one of the six Life-Streams there will be a pull on the other areas as well. For example, you may often find yourself stressed for some reason economically (your finances) yet you feel the impact in your physical body. As a result of financial challenges, you may gain or lose weight; have headaches and migraines; display increased heart rate and elevated blood pressure; or there could be a number of other health related symptoms that you display. Because of this type of strain and impact that may occur across the Life-Streams, your overall life may reflect a lack of wholeness.

PESSCE Unlimited has designed the PESSCE Lifestyle Wholeness Model™ to offer a path to achieve lifestyle wholeness. The four-step process along with additional tools and resources will provide you with an easy to follow method to launch and complete your own personal journey to wholeness.

Your journey starts with you and can only be completed by you. It’s time for you to self-assess and put together your plan to achieve wholeness in your lifestyle. PESSCE Unlimited is here to help. Keep following us! All the tools you will need will be available soon.

 

Please share your comments.

 

What is PESSCE Wholeness?

 

This week we will spend time explaining the work of PESSCE Unlimited and key components of the PESSCE Wholeness Model. The foundational approach for the work of PESSCE Unlimited, LLC, is the PESSCE Wholeness Model for Women which focuses on Life-Style and Leadership Wholeness. You can find more details at www.pessce.com and additional resources will be coming soon to help you achieve PESSCE Wholeness in your own life.

PESSCE Unlimited defines wholeness as:

The feeling and demonstration of completeness while walking in your own personal and professional freedom and truth.

Wholeness is not being perfect, however it is being complete. In order for you to achieve wholeness, you will first need to assess your current state. It’s time! It is now time for you to start being honest about yourself with yourself. When you can finally self-assess, reset and create a plan, make self-controlled life choices and improve professional performance, you will then be able to walk in your PESSCE Wholeness. You will know that you are walking in your own personal power from a place of freedom and truth because it will be from the work you put in to get there. We can provide you with coaching, consultation and resources. We can’t give you PESSCE Wholeness; you will have to do the work to get there yourself individually.

What is your truth? When you assess the depth of your personal life struggles and workplace challenges, you will likely discover that you are the root cause of most of what you deal with. Now, please don’t misinterpret what is being said here. How people treat you is important and they should be held accountable for any of their bad behaviors that negatively impact you or others. However, what I present to you is the thought that maybe, just maybe, if you are honest with yourself about yourself, you will express the truth of your own short-comings and personal baggage. You will begin to seek out the needed opportunities to make the necessary changes in your life personally and professionally once you take the first step of current state assessment.

As you get to know PESSCE Unlimited and the services offered, you will see the following six Life-Streams and six Leadership Competencies often referenced:

6 Life-Streams of Life-Style Wholeness:

Physical * Emotional * Spiritual * Social * Career * Economic

6 Competencies for Leadership Wholeness:

Precision * Engagement * Speed* Self-Assurance * Calmness * Excellence

We will share information to support your journey to PESSCE Wholeness through resources available at our online PESSCE Store (coming soon), Blog Posts, PESSCE Music, Consulting, Coaching and Events. Begin your journey today by understanding the basic components of the PESSCE Wholeness Model in our series of Overview Blogs this week. Then get in contact with us to establish your personal coaching or consultation plan!!

Your action for today: We want to hear your thoughts as we are behind the scenes swiftly crafting the PESSCE Wholeness services, tools and resources. Do you have PESSCE Wholeness across the 6 life-streams and 6 competencies? Or do you need a little help to get there? Let us hear your thoughts. Please like this Blog and add your comments below to begin the discussion.

​All to often we as women find ourselves in relationships that ultimately end because of the behaviors of the other person. I am sure many of you will be able to relate to this. You meet a guy who says and does all the right things presenting himself as potentially the perfect guy. You are cautious, because you have been in this situation before and he turned out to be nothing close to what he presented to you during those first couple of dates or conversations. As you suspected, this one is no different than others in the past.
 
What you have experienced is an introduction to his “personality.” Personality is the one who shows up and says the right things, is very attentive and considerate, talks about his family, and knows how to strategically charm you and everyone he meets. What you later experience meeting when you realized something is very wrong, is his “character.” You see, good personality does not equate to good character.
 
As part of our maturity as women is understanding the importance of looking past Mr. Personality that shows up and ask key questions so the real man Mr. Character steps up to the plate. When character shows up to the party late, not appropriately dressed for the occasion, you have to know you are dealing with character flows. Those flaws will ultimately be the contributing factors that end that relationship. That may be a quick end, after a few days; or much later after a few years of marriage. Either way, identify the defects to avoid the hurt.
 
This is not to say you are to expect perfect, nobody is perfect. I am saying, identify those character blemishes by seeing beyond the personality that shows in the beginning. There are clear indicators. When you miss the indicators, and move forward in a relationship with Mr. Personality, you will end up in a toxic relationship with a flawed “character” who is no longer Mr. Personality but Mr. Transference.  When flawed character is called out, it lashes out and begins to transfer issues in the relationship to you. Now the tough part here is if YOU too are damaged across your own PESSCE Life-Streams, you take on the issues. When you take on the issues, your lack of wholeness shows up.
 
So, it is important for you to have PESSCE Wholeness so when you are faced with Mr. Personality, you can see through the facade to the true character of the man. You can then make a self-controlled life choice to move on so that you are not later stuck in a failed relationship taking on the transferred issues from Mr. Transference. Personality or Character? You decide what is most important. 

Source: My Original PESSCE Website

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​Our God given ability to preserve memories is a natural capability often taken for granted. For many without the use of modern technology many of the great experiences of life are lost in the depths of our minds, buried well below the challenges that we maintain at the forefront of our minds instead. The memories that seem to always stand the test of time are those of the people we loved or who impacted your life in profound ways.
 
Last night, during a process of transferring old VHS recordings to digital, floods of memories surfaces while watching a video recording of my 1989 high school Senior Day and Graduation. Wow!! So many great memories to watch but also heartbreaking to watch. Seeing the faces of friends who have passed away. Even though some I may have only seen at most only once or twice since 1989, they were each still considered such dear friends to me.
 
Life begins with birth and ends with death. Death is a part of life, and countless numbers of lives transition each day. The memories of these friends and loved ones is really what keeps some people going forward each day. At the same time, those memories may also be the burden that some carry who can’t process that their loved one is no longer with them. It is important to give them opportunity to grieve, but it is also important to help them find their emotional stability through their spiritual strength. The stability will come once the beautiful memories of their loved one are put in proper perspective. This will demonstrate Spiritual Wholeness that supports their Emotional Wholeness.
 
I recall at the end of 2016, there were a significant number of social media comments and news stories on the number of celebrity of deaths over the course of that year. I recall thinking, were the number of deaths, specifically celebrity deaths more that year, or just more notable?  I would venture to say the latter is true. I don’t have statistical data on hand to support this assertion, but I am sure there would be valid support. If the person who passes away isn’t considered a well know singer, songwriter, musician, actor, director or any other Hollywood work category, the death just comes and goes. There is limited impact and discussion except to those close friends and relatives directly impacted by the death.

As I think of my friends and loved ones who have passed away, I want to always remember and hope that people would not just focus on the notable deaths, but consider all who are impacted by the inevitable and find a way to provide spiritual and emotional support to others whenever possible. Death is really tough for many people to process, and they will need encouragement to move forward and experience all that life still has for them to experience. They still have more life to live here on earth! Let’s help them live life to the fullest! And for you, when the inevitable comes your way, as we all know it will someday, be sure you have done all you can to live life to the fullest. Living a life that is pleasing to God knowing that eternal life will be your gain. PESSCE Wholeness!


Source: My Original PESSCE Website

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​You just want your happiness to be real. Right? The reality is that it may often be short lived or none existent if you are seeking that happiness from external sources, i.e., people, places, things. It is most likely those placeholders you have put in place for your happiness will disappoint you. People fall short, places become less exciting, and things lose value. I had a young lady recently share with me the disappointment of her misguided happiness. She is 30 years old and disappointed with her marriage. She and her husband have known each other since they were children. They were high school sweethearts, prom king and queen, married by 21 and hopeful they would be having children soon. She stated, “he was all I knew, he was my happiness!” My only thought was, wow!! He was your happiness? Of course, the second half of the story wasn’t so much the fairytale.
 
She went on to say how sad and disappointed she currently is with the way things have been lately. Unfortunately, the happiness she once placed in her husband is now none existent due to his poor life choices and just bad behavior. All her happiness was placed with this person and he of course disappointed. Her story is one that reminded me of the importance of a true relationship with the Lord.
 
The photo included in this post is of my niece, I affectionately call, “the lil baby.” Whenever I need a reminder of the simplicity of happiness that comes from God, I look at this picture of the lil baby, and I just smile. Sometimes, I even want to run out in my back yard, roll in the grass and throw my legs in the air just like her! The happiness on her face is priceless. God can give this to you too, even if you are not a 2-year-old toddler but a 30-year-old unhappy wife. Find your happiness internal, between you and your God. The real God. Not the substitutes you put in place. People, places and things will fail to fulfill. Now my God; yes, you can trust that He will not fall short. The happiness you seek external, seek internal, and know that God will fulfill the desires of your heart and give you more happiness than you could ever imagine from any external source. 

Source: My Original PESSCE Website