Personality or Character? You decide which is most important.

​All to often we as women find ourselves in relationships that ultimately end because of the behaviors of the other person. I am sure many of you will be able to relate to this. You meet a guy who says and does all the right things presenting himself as potentially the perfect guy. You are cautious, because you have been in this situation before and he turned out to be nothing close to what he presented to you during those first couple of dates or conversations. As you suspected, this one is no different than others in the past.
 
What you have experienced is an introduction to his “personality.” Personality is the one who shows up and says the right things, is very attentive and considerate, talks about his family, and knows how to strategically charm you and everyone he meets. What you later experience meeting when you realized something is very wrong, is his “character.” You see, good personality does not equate to good character.
 
As part of our maturity as women is understanding the importance of looking past Mr. Personality that shows up and ask key questions so the real man Mr. Character steps up to the plate. When character shows up to the party late, not appropriately dressed for the occasion, you have to know you are dealing with character flows. Those flaws will ultimately be the contributing factors that end that relationship. That may be a quick end, after a few days; or much later after a few years of marriage. Either way, identify the defects to avoid the hurt.
 
This is not to say you are to expect perfect, nobody is perfect. I am saying, identify those character blemishes by seeing beyond the personality that shows in the beginning. There are clear indicators. When you miss the indicators, and move forward in a relationship with Mr. Personality, you will end up in a toxic relationship with a flawed “character” who is no longer Mr. Personality but Mr. Transference.  When flawed character is called out, it lashes out and begins to transfer issues in the relationship to you. Now the tough part here is if YOU too are damaged across your own PESSCE Life-Streams, you take on the issues. When you take on the issues, your lack of wholeness shows up.
 
So, it is important for you to have PESSCE Wholeness so when you are faced with Mr. Personality, you can see through the facade to the true character of the man. You can then make a self-controlled life choice to move on so that you are not later stuck in a failed relationship taking on the transferred issues from Mr. Transference. Personality or Character? You decide what is most important. 

Source: My Original PESSCE Website

4 thoughts on “Personality or Character? You decide which is most important.

  1. Well said, meeting someone new is difficult in itself but when they come with this big personality you sometimes get overwhelmed, you don’t get to see the real person, they don’ show their true ‘CHARACTER”, loved your take on subject matter. Please keep coming with great subject matter that no doubt will impact someone’s life, BRAVO!!!.

  2. I could not have said it better myself, some people get it wrong all the time , a person shows up with this big booming personality and you’re drawn into it and when they reveal their true “CHACTER”, it’s to late, then you begin your long journey to extricate yourself from this madness. loved this, keep writing subject matter that will help somebody out there, you are needed.

    1. Thank you for your reply, Ruby! It is very difficult to extricate yourself, however, each person has to work through that key component individually. The decision to exit any relationship (marriage, friendship, etc.) should be made from a place of PESSCE Wholeness. No regrets! If the character flows can not be remedied, the decision to exit will be clear.

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